Episode 23 - R.I.P. MJ

Episode 23 – R.I.P. MJ

Los Angeles, or more specifically Hollywood in reality is a biosphere of its own… This GFC malarkey with all its unpleasant home repossession nonsense, rising joblessness, crashing markets and so on, it’s just so not LA – well Hollywood to be precise. Look to the countless mansions gazing over the city from the Hills, the ever watchful gaze of the Hollywood sign teasing with dreams of stardom, the massive black SUV’s speeding importantly to a studio somewhere, and you know that the entertainment industry and it’s various incarnations will keep this city afloat… Even the homeless men and destitute war veterans are begging for change as the lights stop at the boundaries of 90210. The dream here is still alive!!

Although this week there is a palpable sense of death in the air with the demise of Farah Fawcett, Ed McMahon, and the littlest mega star, The King of Pop, Michael Jackson. Despite the immeasurable impact Farah Fawcett had on boys / men’s walls as America’s No.1 pin-up girl in the 70’s and her often imitated flick hairstyle by millions of women (and now more so, metrosexual men), her loss was forced to the back pages by the passing of MJ. The death of the most pilloried superstar united the world in grief. His unmistakable musical genius became the primary focus of coverage, a refreshing change from the usual drab reporting of his more recent dour ‘lifestyle choices’…

Continuing our morbid fascination with the numerous LA landmarks that saw the passing of many luminaries (i.e., Chateau Marmont, Manson Family murder scene, OJ’s most famous offensive play, etc), another journey to the beach is scuppered by that cursed ‘marine layer’ which rendered the sun absent and the breeze too cold for lazing, we salvage the mission by heading inland towards Encino to show our support / curiosity at the spectacle that was The Jackson Family Compound, complete with police guards, 50+ news crews and outside broadcast vans from every country around the globe. With reporters in the face of all in attendance, it proves that even after death, Michael Jackson will continue to be tabloid fodder for years to come – the circus is far from over!! R.I.P. lil’ man.

On a similar tangent, 7 weeks in LA have led me to a firm assessment of the LA ‘Rules of Engagement’, or how to make it in LA…. They seem alarmingly simple, but I staunchly believe that they are completely applicable on so many levels.

Step 1 - ‘Through whichever ostentatious means possible, be seen!’

Step 2 – ‘If socioeconomic or genetic factors prevent you from being seen, be heard!’

(Repeat)

If the above measures fail, move back to Iowa where you grew up, and drop the movie star aspirations…

These simple rules seem to be a mantra of the majority of LA denizens. Fashion, vehicles, lifestyle, your look, your voice… It’s paramount to the identity of LA and the people who make LA. So as they say, ‘when in Rome….’

As chameleons that fit so beautifully into whatever their surrounds, we venture out into LA to absorb some clubs. An unexpected foray into an epic drag night at The Standard on Sunset. I tell the doorgirl – ‘it’s alright honey, we’re from Sydney. We’ve seen this all before’, but the MC’ing, dancing 7ft chocolate brown pussycat still manages to raise our eyebrows. As per my own Rules of Engagement, we aren’t quite as camouflaged as we would expect so after a few cocktails we bust a move!

On a different tangent, a couple of trips to Villa Lounge courtesy of a promoter friend of Sam’s who hooks us up with free bottomless vodka served to our table, sees us hit the dance floor like a couple of local kids. Certainly makes for good times, and raging hangovers… Although not quite the epic standard of the film ‘The Hangover’ which we caught at ArcLight Cinemas. I am told by a mate at home, that he wants to head to Las Vegas soon for a Bucks Night – mine!!

The much hyped Grammy Museum is an interesting visit, especially in light of the focus they currently have on Michael Jackson’s career. I like Elvis’ and Kurt’s guitars, and also the live recording booths they have to mess around as a studio producer in. Drop the beat homeboy!! So it’s only fitting we follow that studio session with cocktails and canapés in a poolside vibrating waterbed on the 20^th floor atop The Standard Downtown and catch the afternoon’s rays. I could definitely get used to hanging here. It makes Sydney’s Ivy look like Castle Hill Tavern! I like this place.

We pack the car one weekend for a trip into the ranch and farm lands west of the OC, for a mate’s ‘Dirty 30 Ranch’ weekend on one of the top rodeo bull and stallion ranch. Either fortunately or unfortunately, we arrive a little later in the day when the team challenge games are degenerating, and the drinking games are accelerating. Not before getting involved with Steve’s winning birthday team. An 8-a-side tug of war becomes a case of every guy smashing each other into the mud pit, but that is fun to watch. A legendary float around the pool in the sun becomes night that becomes some semi-weird sexual tension in a cabin, so we make scarce to crash on our mattress under the Cali country night sky. A sublime starlit finish to an action-packed day on the farm!

Frosty and I amuse our selves on the arduous drive home with our own zany, whacky iPod Battles – we agree a central theme or genre, and have to alternately DJ a mix song by song – dang we know how to have a good time.

Speaking of which, imagine you’re in LA – The City of Lights – it’s Saturday night, you’ve cracked open some vintage bottles of wine (read $2.50), and you wanna party. Hit The Standard – check, Marmont – check, Sushi Club – check… How about we get crazy and rock some IQ quizzes on each other – not necessarily to determine who is smarter, but juz for kicks yeah? CA-RAZY!! Geography quizzes, IQ tests, you name it – we’re on it. And before we know it, the bars are closed, we’re buzzed – mentally and through intoxication – so that’s a wrap everybody! (insert last line of paragraph above)…D