Episode 3 – Access All Areas

'Coz that’s how we roll’ as quoted at the Olympics by a member of the US Gymnastics team. Well I have watched some gymnastics and it is true there are a lot of tumbles and rolls.

Enter the never ending, entertainment all hours spectrum of LA life. Like it or not, each invitation sounds scintillating and exciting. A night out is common place, a night in is an anomaly. But keeping up with the Pitt’s, the financially privileged, trust fund recipients, film industry elites and just plain fabulous is a costly exercise.

The House of Blues housed us tonight. A night out with too cute for words identical twin sisters from Australia, with energy you want to bottle equals a great night out. Hyper Crush introduce us to the laser glove, I think my boyfriend has realised what his wardrobe has always been missing. This is followed by a launch at Club Sushi. Tall white guys and skinny white bitches with no butts are definitely not the norm. Feeling a little out of place with a couple of toilet cleaner cocktails under our belt we make our way home.

The following are some opinions/sentiments of LA I have garnished. Well they are just from one jaded friend, but I shall cover myself against plagiarism, with my legal background I know the X Files were right ‘Trust No one’ and, from my newly acquired knowledge of Basketball, I know the benefits of applying the ‘Kobe Rule’ to get consent in writing.

Opinion 1 - I am not a huge fan of LA... I guess if you can keep your sense of humour about the place then it is OK. But, I mean, come on - my friend's gated community has its own bloody gated VIP area! When people start having VIP areas for housing developments I leave!

Opinion 2 - Have you started wearing velour track pants down to the Jamba Juice and the Coffee Bean while walking your little dog to read your screenplays yet? It is only a matter of time... but don't you just love those amazing half half frapuccinos with extra ice and low fat whip? soooo good! It really gets you focused on finishing that big screenplay you’ve been working on! Are you doing your yogalates boxing class today? God I love LA.

Elements of truth and yes I do love LA!...S