We quickly become alumni of Griffith Park, the largest city park in California. Griffith Park climbs to its pinnacle dramatically and rapidly, only stopping briefly to pass the dome of the Griffith Observatory. The park cowers at the smog it is incapable of challenging, no matter how much oxygen the trees emit, this is an insurmountable battle. However reaching the top of the park is surmountable (ish…) and it becomes our running training ground (hey at least it gets me off the streets). During our grueling runs carrying an entire army kit & an SUV on our backs (Dave would make you believe this is the case), we curiously observe the symbiotic relationship between squirrels and litter. This truly is a match made in our superfluous society waste heaven or at least in a ‘heaven’ icecream wrapper. We have street cred now (we got a hummer sideways in the desert), so we don’t even hesitate passing a sign that says ‘beware of mountain lions and rattle snakes’, we are actually intrigued about encountering either - despite the 30yr break since the last fatal mountain lion attack in LA, we sense it is imminent. We bask in our extensive knowledge of speaking ‘cat’ and assure ourselves that we could talk down a teeth baring predator no problem – here kitty!
We hit another Lakers game for the Western Conference Finals. This is a celeb petri culture dish and incubation ground for the famous. They are slightly more difficult to spot this time as our seats are on Jupiter. It is a formidable challenge but we manage: Drew (again), Denzel, Spike Lee, David Arquette, John Mayer and Jack Nicholson - a permanent fixture on the Lakers bench. The Lakers win again, we are a good omen – it must be our Lakers shrine at home, an unlikely deity shrouded in purple & yellow.
This week is the start of auditions and also the beginning of my battle for coins. Parking, washing machine, tips etc… these little guys actually take top billing over their paper associates due to their diverse uses. The audition/casting process in LA is a little different to what I am used to, Actors are actually issued with a bar code and registered on a casting agents site. While this may seem demeaning and Orwellian, it is actually notably efficient and saves a lot of paper – eco friendly too. The Virgo in me is impressed. The briefs for the auditions are hilarious: sexy, cute, coy, confident, edgy, interesting, casual. And yes it is not unusual to get all of these indicators in one brief. Clearly schizophrenia is part of the model/actor code. Then there are sides with additional information just incase the brief hasn’t confused you enough!
Our 1 year anniversary is celebrated with a low key night at ‘Chateau Marmont’. Just 2 metres away in our peripheral we see her, now it was official, Drew Barrymore is clearly stalking us. We inform our waiter, who assures us that he would be putting a word in with management. Our fear of Drew was diminished when we received the bill for the night - that was much more terrifying. Did someone say double Affogato!
Newport Beach for the weekend, after admiring street break dancing and trained macau’s, we are in for an Australia vs US drinking competition. We were out of practice, the alcohol catches up with us quickly and we let the Aussies down – blimey! Our hosts are humble about their win and still drag us to numerous packed venues.The US is definitely a matter of semantics. When searching for a bank card, I attempted to call a bar I had frequented during the weekend to see if I had left it behind the bar. I asked the Phone Directory for ‘Sharky’s in Newport’, I was informed that there was no area called Newport, I thought this odd as I had just spent the weekend there and didn’t think I had imagined it. As the conversation progressed, I extended my description to Newport Beach. ‘Oh no problems, putting you through now’. Remember to keep it ‘inside the square’ people…S
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